Question for Mother's of Four (and anyone else who might have something to add)

I remember it well...

A month or so before my 3rd would arrive and the intense panic I was beginning to feel.

I felt so 'in-over-my-head" as it was, I couldn't imagine introducing another person, much less a newborn to the mix.

I was having dreams like: Opening the trunk of the car and finding him there, crying, wet and hungry - I had forgotten he was in the basket of groceries and just stuck him in the trunk!

I sat down at the computer and sent out an S.O.S. to an older, wiser woman. It went something like this:

HELP!

Number 3 is on it's way. STOP. How will I manage another? STOP. Will I be able to continue taking showers? STOP. How will I make dinner every night? STOP. Any advice to calm my panic would be much appreciated. STOP.

I remember the night we thought he was on his way. We were at a super bowl party. I looked at Dustin and calmly said, "It's time".

He gathered the kids and our stuff. We waved good-bye, they wished us luck. And then someone had the audacity to ask, "So, what's the name going to be?"

The name? Yes, his name.

Had I really been in that much denial?? To not think of a name... and we were on our way to the hospital!!

Thankfully he decided to give us another week before he actually came (much to my embarrassment!).

God ended up naming him and everything turned out alright. I never did stick him in the trunk, thinking he was a sack of groceries. I was still able to shower and make dinner, clean house and even go do stuff. Yes, there were moments of getting to the end of my Wal-Mart trip and looking down at the front of my shirt to find a massive amount of snot and yogurt wiped across the front of it. But at least they were all accounted for.

Ok, so that was then. And this is now.

Number 4? Who cares! No big deal!! Can't wait!!! Already thinking of Names!!!!

Where is he/she going to sleep? What does it matter? We have a closet, right?

You got rid of all of our baby stuff! So what!! It will all work out, not really worried about it!

You are 16 weeks and haven't seen a doctor yet!! Well, I am taking vitamins...

What about school next year with a newborn??? School? Haven't really thought about it!!

FOUR KIDS!!! What are you thinking!!! Well, apparently I'm not!

Ok, so you get the feel for where I am in life at the moment. One word - Clueless. Or am I?

This is where I need your help.

I came across this 'funny' in Reader's Digest and I laughed out loud. Not really because it was so funny, but because it's the perfect indication of where I am NOT!!

Ok, here it is:
"If you want to know what it's like to have a fourth kid, just imagine you're drowning and someone hands you a fourth kid."

Should I be panicking? Or at least nervous? Is my oblivion going to leave me unprepared??

I don't know. What do you think??

A Christmas Story

Once upon a time...

There was a little girl. Her name was Olivia and it was her 3rd Christmas, although she wasn't quite three.

She was very excited about the coming holiday. Not because of presents or candy, but because she had been invited to a birthday party for Jesus. There would be cake and presents and singing and crafts, but most important she would get to see the Baby Jesus and she just couldn't wait!

Her Mama was very busy this particular Christmas and sadly thought this birthday party was a little silly and quite inconvenient. She had decorating and baking to do. A new baby was coming too and there was lots to get ready for. And chasing after a 2yr. old and 15 month old made her quite tired. She would rather stay home. She needed to stay home.

But it was all her little girl could talk about...

She had lots of questions about that special little Baby. Questions like:

"Where is the baby Jesus?"
"Where is His Mama?"
"Does He have a white kitty?"
"When will I see Him?"
"Will I get to hold Him?"

Her Mama just couldn't say no to that precious little thing. As she dressed her that Saturday morning, putting a little red bow in her hair to match her red overalls, she saw the light in her eye. The giddy excitement that burst over in little giggles and more questions. It was hard for that Mama not to get a little excited herself.

So the excited little girl not yet 3 and the reluctant Mama drove the long way to church. The sky couldn't have been clearer. The sometimes green rivers were such a vibrant blue as the light from the sun made them gleam. They looked so happy. It might have helped that Mama to feel a little less tired and a little happier too.

As they pulled into the parking lot the Mama quickly realized they had arrived late. No one else was walking in with packages in hand. She noticed the air felt a little more frigid as she couldn't quite get her coat to button over her wide girth. She positioned her scarf a little better so that it covered her protruding front.

She thought of her babe within. How cozy and warm he was. Then her thoughts turned to the young mother long ago who had carried the babe within her willing body...

Had it been cold then too?
Had she been scared?
Did she feel alone, abandoned by her loved ones?
Did she have doubts?
Did she doubt God's plan?
Or was she at peace?

What this Mama didn't realize was that she had thought a lot about that little Baby too and a lot about that young mother. Her own time was coming near and she was feeling heavy and tired and weepy and what was it like riding on a donkey through the desert so close to delivering? Could she have done that, she wondered? What had it been like not having anywhere to go? Knowing that the One she was about to usher into this world deserved to at least be wanted. Did her heart sink as she walked or most likely shuffled into that stable-cave? As she laid on the dirt and straw, did it poke her? Did the smell make her nauseated...?

She couldn't help but wonder.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the little hand that held hers, it pulled excitedly, "Now, Mama?" She was so anxious to see the Baby.

"Not yet, sweety. We have to go to your class first and wrap our gifts so that they can be given to someone who otherwise wouldn't have any presents this Christmas."

She didn't understand why she had to go to her class first. She wanted to see the baby Jesus first. Thankfully she was soon distracted by her friends and the fun job of decorating wrapping paper.

Her Mama moved onto the sanctuary where she would wait with the other mothers, to listen to a devotional. She noticed the manger on the stage with the blanket of clean white tucked snugly inside. Her thoughts again went to that night long ago...

What would it have been like to give birth in such a dirty place? Did she even notice through the pain? Was Joseph scared too? Did they have help or was it just the two of them? Did He come quickly or did she labor long and hard? What was it like holding him for the first time? Was she exhausted or was her strength renewed as she took Him to her breast? Was she overwhelmed with that sweet, powerful  motherly love or the awe of her Savior, or both? She could only imagine the sweet tears that flowed...

Again her wonderings were interrupted as the devotional began.

Soon the children were heard as they began walking down the hall to the sanctuary. They walked in each carrying the gift they had just wrapped. A proud Mary and Joseph took their seats on the stage on either side of the wooden manger where a fake baby Jesus lay peacefully on the scratchy straw.

As soon as her little black patent-leathered feet walked through the big doors her eyes began searching. The Mama watched her closely hoping she wouldn't make a scene as her teacher directed her over to the tree where she was to place her gift and told her to go find her Mama.

She quickly stood so that her little one could easily find her. The confused little girl walked over to her Mama and loudly whispered, "The baby Jesus is up there and we neeed to go see him!"

"It's hard to be patient, I know," Her Mama whispered back. "But we are just going to have to wait."

She ants-ily waited on the seat through the story that was read and the songs that were sung. The Mama was getting a bit antsy too, not knowing how long she would be able to hold her back.

They were then dismissed to the fellowship room for the birthday cake and to sing "Happy Birthday, Jesus".

Hearing the word cake, the almost 3 year old momentarily forgot about the little bundle up front and her long awaited mission. The Mama followed and helped her find a spot and just the right size piece of birthday cake which she quickly inhaled. She hadn't forgotten after all.

One look from her little one and that Mama knew, there was no more putting it off. She took the small hand in hers and they walked together, slowly into the sanctuary.

As they walked through the big doors, the Mama noticed how calm and quiet her normally rambunctious little one was being. It was if what they were about to do was something very sacred. And to her girl, she guessed it was.

The room was empty as they approached the stage and the manger. Mary and Joseph had since gone to partake in eating cake. All that remained was the little plastic baby laying on top of the yellow hay.

"Is that a manger?" she asked.
"Yes, it's a manger" answered her Mama.
"But that is for horses!" she cried.
"Yes, for horses" her Mama thought to herself.

As they got closer the little one became very still and just silently stared into the sleeping face. It was the kind of doll that closed it's eyes when it was laid on it's back.

She then reverently asked if she could hold the baby Jesus.

Here Mama carefully picked up the bundle and gently placed him in her tiny arms.

The small girl stared in awe at this little baby. She hugged him and kissed him and pressed her cheek against his. She then carefully placed him back in the manger. That manger for horses.

The Mama stepped back, thinking this magical moment had ended. But then she heard, "Mama, I just have to hold him again."

She thought her Mama-heart would burst as she watched her precious one gently pick up the baby Jesus one more time. She began to have the same sense of awe as she watched the God of heaven and earth show Himself to this little girl of not quite three in such a simple yet profound way.

The young one hugged Him and rocked Him, kissed Him and loved Him. And her Mama loved Him too.

This is how it had been.

There was no doubt in that Mama's heart. This raw love and adoration that radiated from her little girl's face must have been how the first ones to hold and see this Child looked and felt themselves. She herself felt a sense of what the young mother and father, the shepherds and later wise men must have experienced as they beheld the Savior-Baby for the first time. The awe they had felt and undoubtedly the love that had overwhelmed them for that little Baby they had never seen before. But now would never again not be able to think of. The moment had left them changed.

And she had been changed as well. A sense of knowing came over that Mama as they walked out of the sanctuary hand in hand. An understanding that God had been showing her something through her little girl who had such a keen sense of understanding the importance of this little Baby. And the genuine, innocent love she had for Him.

Driving home she was thankful she had followed her 2 year old to the party that day. That she had been led by that small hand down the center isle to meet the baby Jesus in a way she never had before. That she got to witness the innocent, unadulterated love of a child for the Savior of the World who came as a baby so long ago. It was necessary that He come as a baby. It was necessary He enter our world just as we did. It is necessary that His birth be celebrated each year because it meant so much.

And it was necessary for that Mama to see Him through the eyes of a child, her child that Christmas.

What a truly special moment for both of them. Even if her little one didn't remember in years to come, she would and would never be able to not remember. Just as the shepherds, she had been a witness. She was so thankful God had allowed them both to experience Him in such a special way.

Here is Olivia, she had just turned 3 and was meeting her new brother, Levi for the first time. This picture captures her perfectly and is one of my all time favorites.

We hope you catch the excitement of Christmas this year and experience Him in a special way too.

Merry Christmas!

A Tribute to Fall

Before we completely move onto Christmas I wanted to pay tribute to this past Fall with some of the fun things that happened in our family... 

We were excited to find out there was a little bean inside. It was fun keeping it a secret

for at least a couple of weeks!

We welcomed fall to our house with a chocolate cake and candles, why not??

The kids had fun dressing up for the annual Down Town Bay Street Trick or Treat. 

 

 Elijah growing up so fast!

 One of the highlights was welcoming home the "hikers", my brother Hunter and his wife Amy. They finished the PCT after 5 months of hiking.

I love seeing my boys and girl dirty! It means they've been having fun outside!

 We were thankful to make a trip to D.C. to visit some dear friends. While there we went to the 'BIG' Air and Space Museum. We found the plane that was on Levi's jacket!

And this plane was on Deke's shirt! And can you believe it, 

both of those were unplanned!!

I think Olivia's favorite thing was going to the Antique Store and trying on all the hats.

She's quite the model!

The kids always have fun in the kitchen creating new desserts.

It was fun seeing our baby for the first time!

Olivia sang her first solo in church last week

This is the baby at 14 weeks. Olivia is demonstrating

how big the baby is right now.

We had fun with our visiting friends from Knoxville, TN. We have missed them

since they moved this past summer.

Leave it up to Deacon and Olivia to find a stray or injured animal. This time it was a

cardinal they tried to nurse back to health... unfortunately the cat

found it the next morning! =(

The Qualls family has the wonderful tradition of letting the smallest members of the family mix up the famous cornbread dressing for Thanksgiving each year. Yes, we make them wash their hands before, but we have no control over the sneezes!

Dustin's been doing this ever since he can remember!

He was the turkey man at our house this year too! We hosted my family for Thanksgiving for the first time. It was a lot of work, but worth it. It was so much fun having everyone over.

The finished bird! And did I mention this was our first turkey too!

We had 20 people to help us celebrate, hence the second table in the living room. Thanks to my amazingly talented husband, he just happened to have an extra (beautiful) heart-pine table lying around his shop that we were able to use!

Some of the crowd in the kitchen and some of the food - that we are still eating!

The kids table!

My favorite nephew - look at that edible chub!

Yeah, he's got this chillin' thing down to a science!

I thought it would be fun to end with the E man giving us a dance!

A lot has happened this Fall. Many ups and downs for sure. But family, especially children help keep things constant and fun and definitely interesting.

I am so grateful for that and the amazing work God continues to do in our lives and hearts.

A Camping Trip

We had been planning a camping trip for quite a while.

When it gets a little cooler we'll go...

But before it had a chance to get cooler, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that number 4 would be joining the clan. The camping trip was snug in the back of my mind, there would be plenty of time to start feeling better.

I guess I didn't realize how long 10 weeks would be! I still had no relief and I just couldn't imagine living out doors for 4 days.

I'm just going to have to miss out. I'll stay home and be sick and send my family off  to have a fun time without me...

I told Dustin that I didn't think I would be able to swing it. But that thought made me sad. I wanted to go, be with my family, watch my boys and girl explore and be dirty and love every minute of it.

A few days before we were to leave I was still unsure, but then I felt myself feeling a little better.

I'd chance it. I could always come home somehow if it was unbearable.

But it wasn't. In fact, it was glorious and I hadn't felt that well in months!

I didn't join in any arduous activities, but I did enjoying catching snapshots of some of my favorite people... and some of the fun things they did.

We had a wonderful time. Dustin's parents were able to join us, or did we join them? Regardless, we were together and had a lot of fun cooking out doors, fishing, sitting around the camp fire and roasting two bags worth of marshmellows! We can't wait for our next camping trip!