An Anniversary Post (1)

In lieu of our 9^th anniversary: A celebratory post, to remember, to give thanks for, to reflect and of course post pictures!

I love hearing a good love story. It's fun seeing how God brings two people together time and time again. It never gets old.
But what does get old is hearing only the 'good' side of the couple-story. I'm not looking for the 'dirty' side by any means. I only mean that life is messy! People are too! And God loves to get ahold of that kind of story!!
So excuse me please for stepping out of the white satin-lace mold for a minute. I'd like to get real with you if you don't mind.

The thought of planning a wedding made me want to take a nap. I was never one of those who had everything mapped out in a fussy wedding scrapbook since childhood. In fact, I ordered my wedding dress (and bridesmaids dresses) from a magazine. I'm sure I drove those helping to organize and plan our wedding absolutely wedding crazy! My answer to their questions was always some form of, "Really, I don't care." We had even seriously considered the idea of eloping!

What I had dreamed about the most was what my life would be like after the wedding. It was going to be wonderful. Perfect! Why, I had been a good girl. I deserved a good life, void of any problems. I followed God with my whole heart. I desired His will for my life and marriage...
or did I?

What God was about to show me was that His view of 'ideal' and my view of 'ideal' was very different. I honestly believed if you followed and obeyed God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength and pretended you didn't have any problems, He would bless you in ways that would make life... well easy, pleasant, holy.
It has taken a long time but finally I am able to see how wrong I was.
And how thankful I am.

  "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing POWER is from God and NOT from us." (2Cor4:7)
God gives each of His children treasures and they are often hidden in jars of clay.

When I first came across this verse I didn't fully understand what it meant. Jars of clay? Isn't that the name of some singing group?

Let me share with you what my commentary says: "This treasure, the gospel, jars of clay. Treasures were concealed in clay jars, which had little value or beauty and did not attract attention to themselves and their contents. Here they represent Paul's human frailty and unworthiness. 'All-surpassing power is from God and not from us.' The idea that absolute insufficiency of human beings reveals the total sufficiency of God pervades this letter."

God has something to show us through our frailty and struggles as humans. He knows the idols of our hearts. And often turns those idols into jars of clay. For me, it was (and is) my marriage and my own self-righteousness. And if God was to have full ownership of my heart He would have to get down and dirty. So that is exactly what God did. He began to slowly chip away my ideal to show me His. And to also show me his all-surpassing power.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I think I am going to need a couple more posts to fully explain what is going on in my mind and heart. I know I am risking a lot here. But I don't want to risk being misunderstood. More than anything I want you to hear how much I love my husband (yes, I can say that now!), how thankful I am to be his wife, and how thankful I am for God lovingly and patiently revealing more of Himself to me through the sin and pain of this Christian life. He truly is a great and mysterious God!!