A Christmas Story... Again

A few days ago we had some dear friends over for dinner. They came all the way from D.C. (a long way for fish and rice!) But they are just like that. =) They also brought their sweet, new baby girl. My right arm ached (in that good way) from holding her so much. It was sooo good to see them as a family of three. Especially him holding and hushing a baby. I'm so sad I didn't take a single picture. Ugh.

We were talking around the table about Christmas traditions and how Christmas should work in a family. They are thinking about Christmas in a different way this year. A baby changes things...

Afterwards I remembered a Christmas memory that I wrote about last year. It's a favorite. I thought I'd share it again.

I hope you are each having a wonderful Christmas season. I have to say I am truly enjoying mine. There is just so much to be thankful for.

Much love and a Merry Christmas to each of you!

///////////////////////////////////////////////////
Once upon a time...

There was a little girl. Her name was Olivia and it was her 3rd Christmas, although she wasn't quite three.

She was very excited about the coming holiday. Not because of presents or candy, but because she had been invited to a birthday party for Jesus. There would be cake and presents and singing and crafts, but most important she would get to see the Baby Jesus and she just couldn't wait!

Her Mama was very busy this particular Christmas and sadly thought this birthday party was a little silly and quite inconvenient. She had decorating and baking to do. A new baby was coming too and there was lots to get ready for. And chasing after a 2yr. old and 15 month old made her quite tired. She would rather stay home. She needed to stay home.

But it was all her little girl could talk about...

She had lots of questions about that special little Baby. Questions like:

"Where is the baby Jesus?"
"Where is His Mama?"
"Does He have a white kitty?"
"When will I see Him?"
"Will I get to hold Him?"

Her Mama just couldn't say no to that precious little thing. As she dressed her that Saturday morning, putting a little red bow in her hair to match her red overalls, she saw the light in her eye. The giddy excitement that burst over in little giggles and more questions. It was hard for that Mama not to get a little excited herself.

So the excited little girl not yet 3 and the reluctant Mama drove the long way to church. The sky couldn't have been clearer. The sometimes green rivers were such a vibrant blue as the light from the sun made them gleam. They looked so happy. It might have helped that Mama to feel a little less tired and a little happier too.

As they pulled into the parking lot the Mama quickly realized they had arrived late. No one else was walking in with packages in hand. She noticed the air felt a little more frigid as she couldn't quite get her coat to button over her wide girth. She positioned her scarf a little better so that it covered her protruding front.

She thought of her babe within. How cozy and warm he was. Then her thoughts turned to the young mother long ago who had carried the babe within her willing body...

Had it been cold then too?
Had she been scared?
Did she feel alone, abandoned by her loved ones?
Did she have doubts?
Did she doubt God's plan?
Or was she at peace?

What this Mama didn't realize was that she had thought a lot about that little Baby too and a lot about that young mother. Her own time was coming near and she was feeling heavy and tired and weepy and what was it like riding on a donkey through the desert so close to delivering? Could she have done that, she wondered? What had it been like not having anywhere to go? Knowing that the One she was about to usher into this world deserved to at least be wanted. Did her heart sink as she walked or most likely shuffled into that stable-cave? As she laid on the dirt and straw, did it poke her? Did the smell make her nauseated...?

She couldn't help but wonder.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the little hand that held hers, it pulled excitedly, "Now, Mama?" She was so anxious to see the Baby.

"Not yet, sweety. We have to go to your class first and wrap our gifts so that they can be given to someone who otherwise wouldn't have any presents this Christmas."

She didn't understand why she had to go to her class first. She wanted to see the baby Jesus first. Thankfully she was soon distracted by her friends and the fun job of decorating wrapping paper.

Her Mama moved onto the sanctuary where she would wait with the other mothers, to listen to a devotional. She noticed the manger on the stage with the blanket of clean white tucked snugly inside. Her thoughts again went to that night long ago...

What would it have been like to give birth in such a dirty place? Did she even notice through the pain? Was Joseph scared too? Did they have help or was it just the two of them? Did He come quickly or did she labor long and hard? What was it like holding him for the first time? Was she exhausted or was her strength renewed as she took Him to her breast? Was she overwhelmed with that sweet, powerful motherly love or the awe of her Savior, or both? She could only imagine the sweet tears that flowed...

Again her wonderings were interrupted as the devotional began.

Soon the children were heard as they began walking down the hall to the sanctuary. They walked in each carrying the gift they had just wrapped. A proud Mary and Joseph took their seats on the stage on either side of the wooden manger where a fake baby Jesus lay peacefully on the scratchy straw.

As soon as her little black patent-leathered feet walked through the big doors her eyes began searching. The Mama watched her closely hoping she wouldn't make a scene as her teacher directed her over to the tree where she was to place her gift and told her to go find her Mama.

She quickly stood so that her little one could easily find her. The confused little girl walked over to her Mama and loudly whispered, "The baby Jesus is up there and we neeed to go see him!"

"It's hard to be patient, I know," Her Mama whispered back. "But we are just going to have to wait."

She ants-ily waited on the seat through the story that was read and the songs that were sung. The Mama was getting a bit antsy too, not knowing how long she would be able to hold her back.

They were then dismissed to the fellowship room for the birthday cake and to sing "Happy Birthday, Jesus".

Hearing the word cake, the almost 3 year old momentarily forgot about the little bundle up front and her long awaited mission. The Mama followed and helped her find a spot and just the right size piece of birthday cake which she quickly inhaled. She hadn't forgotten after all.

One look from her little one and that Mama knew, there was no more putting it off. She took the small hand in hers and they walked together, slowly into the sanctuary.

As they walked through the big doors, the Mama noticed how calm and quiet her normally rambunctious little one was being. It was if what they were about to do was something very sacred. And to her girl, she guessed it was.

The room was empty as they approached the stage and the manger. Mary and Joseph had since gone to partake in eating cake. All that remained was the little plastic baby laying on top of the yellow hay.

"Is that a manger?" she asked.
"Yes, it's a manger" answered her Mama.
"But that is for horses!" she cried.
"Yes, for horses" her Mama thought to herself.

As they got closer the little one became very still and just silently stared into the sleeping face. It was the kind of doll that closed it's eyes when it was laid on it's back.

She then reverently asked if she could hold the baby Jesus.

Here Mama carefully picked up the bundle and gently placed him in her tiny arms.

The small girl stared in awe at this little baby. She hugged him and kissed him and pressed her cheek against his. She then carefully placed him back in the manger. That manger for horses.

The Mama stepped back, thinking this magical moment had ended. But then she heard, "Mama, I just have to hold him again."

She thought her Mama-heart would burst as she watched her precious one gently pick up the baby Jesus one more time. She began to have the same sense of awe as she watched the God of heaven and earth show Himself to this little girl of not quite three in such a simple yet profound way.

The young one hugged Him and rocked Him, kissed Him and loved Him. And her Mama loved Him too.

This is how it had been.

There was no doubt in that Mama's heart. This raw love and adoration that radiated from her little girl's face must have been how the first ones to hold and see this Child looked and felt themselves. She herself felt a sense of what the young mother and father, the shepherds and later wise men must have experienced as they beheld the Savior-Baby for the first time. The awe they had felt and undoubtedly the love that had overwhelmed them for that little Baby they had never seen before. But now would never again not be able to think of. The moment had left them changed.

And she had been changed as well. A sense of knowing came over that Mama as they walked out of the sanctuary hand in hand. An understanding that God had been showing her something through her little girl who had such a keen sense of understanding the importance of this little Baby. And the genuine, innocent love she had for Him.

Driving home she was thankful she had followed her 2 year old to the party that day. That she had been led by that small hand down the center isle to meet the baby Jesus in a way she never had before. That she got to witness the innocent, unadulterated love of a child for the Savior of the World who came as a baby so long ago. It was necessary that He come as a baby. It was necessary He enter our world just as we did. It is necessary that His birth be celebrated each year because it meant so much.

And it was necessary for that Mama to see Him through the eyes of a child, her child that Christmas.

What a truly special moment for both of them. Even if her little one didn't remember in years to come, she would and would never be able to not remember. Just as the shepherds, she had been a witness. She was so thankful God had allowed them both to experience Him in such a special way.

Here is Olivia, she had just turned 3 and was meeting her new brother, Levi for the first time. This picture captures her perfectly and is one of my all time favorites.

We hope you catch the excitement of Christmas this year and experience Him in a special way too.

Merry Christmas!

12.12.12

I just have to post something today. Since we'll never see another date like this one in our life time!

(Kelli, it would be a good day to have a baby! Just sayin')

We are a bunch of sickies around here and trying to get better. So not much to report. But how about some pictures from the last couple of months...

 

Judah took his first plane ride! Olivia, Judah and I went to see a friend get married the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was exhausting, but he did great and it was so good to share in the fun of that day!

 

 

Olivia and I had the wedding. The older she gets, the more she looks like me!

 

 

What can I say, he has his daddy's ears.

 

 

We've had some cold days scattered amongst the warm. Judah is wearing his very warm, hand-love knitted sweater from a sweet friend, Lara! Thanks friend!

 

 

While at the play ground, Deke lost his second front tooth (literally)... we never found it!

 

 

 We have been working hard at finding some food that Judah will actually eat. He pretty much hates everything. But after a month I think I've finally figured it out. Rice, peas, and chicken broth. Strangest baby so far!

 

 

Olivia wanted to be a Piratess for the Fall Festival.

... and this is why she's not allowed to wear makeup - ever!

 

 

While in Iowa, we had several very rough nights (waking up 5-7 times!) This is how we ended up by morning!

 

 

He loves his little polka-dot giraffe!

(and yes, I have a white wicker changing table!)

 

 

Deacon found a snake and we made him our pet. Sadly though, he made his escape (in our house) and is still MIA to this day... yeah.

 

 

Elijah loves Judah. It's so sweet. He just can't get enough!

 

 

Levi was so brave to attempt rock climbing at the Fall Festival this year. Although he didn't quite make it, he gave it his all!

 

 

This is my favorite.

My 82 year old grandmother called me the day before Thanksgiving and told me that it was about time she teach me how to cook. She was serious. And so this is her showing me how to make mashed potatoes. I played dumb and she felt important. She doesn't eat salt, so they tasted terrible.

 

 

She had us retake the picture too, with us looking at the camera. =)

I can't help but love her!

 



On the way home from the airport a deer hit us. Yes, it ran into us. They ended up totaling it the van. So we had to get a new vehicle. We decided on an Excursion and I love it.

 

 

 

 It's even a diesel!

 

 

Levi was a little too excited about getting a hair cut. I really almost had to cut this out!

 

 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here!

 

 

 

 

 

At the Christmas Parade down town.

 

 

And I realize that the pictures are a little unbalanced... pretty heavy on the Judah side! but here's one more of our cute boy.

 

Judah is 6 months now. That is so hard to believe! It really does go by so fast. We have been thankful every day, even through the hardest moments.

 

Today he is working hard at cutting his first tooth

Going to sleep on his own in his own bed

Sleeping through the night

Eating food

Sitting up

and rolling over!

It's a fun time and we are loving it.

 

Happy 12.12.12!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The War

Today I feel war weary.

I have been waking up tired. Timid and slow to face the day.

There have been other times when I have felt war weary. Tired of fighting against... there is always something to fight against.

I guess these times of weariness are inevitable. For this is a weary world.

"Do not grow weary in doing good..."

I wonder how this is possible. Truly. On this side of things I mean. When there is always some frustration you keep bumping into. And you wish you could just ease by, but you can't. So you keep pushing and pushing.

My muscles are sore and my heart aches.

So today I've decided not to fight (as much). I'm not saying this is a good thing. In a way I'm just giving up. As a mother, you have to fight. Fight for discipline. Fight for naps. Fight for order and control.

But I'm tired of being the enforcer. The referee. The all around bad-guy.

Can I say these things?

Because we aren't really allowed to give up. To give in.

But I am today.

Don't worry. It's not for good. Just a little break from the war. What's that called R &R? Yeah, that's just what I need...

Missing You

Gosh I miss this!

I just can't believe how busy I am these days and that I can't sit here and type like I used to.

Having #4, homeschooling 3, directing music at my church, hosting this or that, cleaning and keeping up with my arch nemesis (laundry) has my head spinning. And my writing chair sadly empty.

Some people laugh at us bloggers I guess. But they don't understand. And maybe I don't understand either.

What is it about sharing your words, your thoughts, your life, your pictures with the world? As small as your world may be.

For me, I think it forces me to be honest. Honest with myself and honest with my world. God has given each of us a small piece of the world. And He's given/giving us a story too.

It's important to share that. Whether you blaawwgg or not!

I love typing my thoughts and ponderings out on this white screen. I love what happens to my soul when I push that 'publish' button. And I love when you share your thoughts about my thoughts. That's just plain fun.

I never imagined that I would still be 'at it' after two years ~ this all began when I was preparing to go to Ukraine. Or that I would come to love it so much. To depend on it for therapy. =) I just never imagined.

I never used to read other people's blogs either. Who cares? (I so foolishly thought!) But since I entered the world of blogging, my world has exploded! I've even made new friends. And I've learned so much about people and moms and their lives. And I really love that.

There is so much to say. So much to share. So much to learn from one another.

So during this season of Thanksgiving, I'm very thankful for you all in blog land. And I'm thankful for the opportunity to share in it. But man, I'm sure missing you all...

Toiling

If you look closely, you will see the nice dark line of dirt underneath my sweet baby's toe nail.

Really?

I completely understand how my 7 and 5 year old come in with black, caked nails. After all they were most likely digging in dirt searching for turtle food (worms).

But a sweet 5 month old who isn't even sitting or crawling yet? Now that stumps me!

It is a reminder of the world we live in. No matter how 'clean' we try to keep ourselves, there is always some sort of 'dirt' trying to sneak in. No matter how innocent we seem, there is some kind of film underneath.

Olivia tried an experiment recently. The 'perfect' experiment. She wanted to see how perfect she  could be for one whole day.

I think I burst her little bubble when I said, no matter how perfect you are, there will still be sin in your heart that will make your efforts imperfect. She tried anyway, and did very well at pretending I might add.

But there will always be that fine dark line of dirt, no matter how hard we try.

So thankful for the blood of Jesus that washes all things white as snow... Oh how we need Him.

A Tease

Hi Friends~

Our lives have been so busy these last several weeks. I wish that I had more time to spend blogging my thoughts and the events of our life... but instead we have just been living it!

The moments that I do have to spend writing I have been working on a series that I hope to share with you soon. A friend and I are collaborating together on a series on marriage. (I can't wait to introduce her to you!) Something that is very near and dear to our hearts. I am so excited about this! We feel it is so needed, because we all struggle in our marriages in one way or another and we need encouragement. We aren't claiming to have all the answers or to have perfect marriages. But God has taught us a lot over the years and we simple just want to share those truths with you.

We have a feeling that the enemy doesn't really want us to do this. When we first started talking about this both of our marriages were hit pretty hard. We were discouraged and feeling extremely inadequate. But we aren't going to be bullied around! We are determined to make this happen (in God's timing)!

Please pray for us as we prepare to share our hearts on a very deep level. It's a risk, we know. But one we know is worth taking.

In the meantime, feast your eyes on this precious little monster!

The Mom Look

Today is Saturday (if you weren't aware).

It's my 'free' day.

It sounds better than it actually is. Because although I don't have the weekday responsibilities looming over me, I have Saturday responsibilities looming instead. But don't get me wrong. I love Saturdays. This glorious day allows me to get caught up with the stuff that's fallen between the cracks during the week.

I should be catching up on dusting right now. But instead I'm catching up on blogging...

Last Monday was... well... a Monday.

It had been a day and half since my last shower. It had been two weeks since I had attempted the mountain of laundry. And it was the first day back to school (since Friday) and for some reason that always overwhelms me just a bit.

I had forgotten to eat breakfast as usual. I was feeling a bit on edge due to the 4 cups of coffee I had ingested so by 11:00 I was shaking-starving and quickly inhaled leftover rice and beans from the previous night. Good protein, right?

So when my husband called and told me that he was on 'this side of town, so how about we meet for lunch?' I of course said yes! (this never happens) But I looked down in horror at my appearance, plus I wasn't even hungry!

Oh well, I thought. I'll just throw on a hat. Besides, no one will notice and I can just sit and enjoy his company.

I didn't realize that my brother-in-law would be with him. Don't misunderstand, we love Brandon and it was a pleasant surprise. Until he said...

"Whoa... you got the Mom Look going on today!"

So, someone had noticed...

I laughed (really) and agreed with him. It was bad. So bad in fact that I took a picture.

I'm not sure why I enjoy humiliating myself...

I couldn't shake his comment for the rest of the day. Actually it's been a week. (but believe me, it's a good thing)

The Mom Look

I have laughed to myself repeatedly this week. It's true. I have the Mom Look these days. But I'm ok with that. More than that actually, I'm proud of it.

Lil' Mom in training

Because, guess what. I'm a MOM!! A mom of four little ones and they are my life, so why shouldn't I look the part?

If you are a mom and have never read, "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic, you've just got to stop what your doing now (but finish reading this first!) and order it on Amazon. I promise you'll love it!

I LOVE what she had to say on "Me Time" and what that should mean to us moms. Here is a little excerpt from that chapter.

 

 

 

Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work. One of the greatest testimonies Christian women can have in our world today is the testimony of joyfully giving your body to another... the testimony of women who know the cost and joyfully pay it is profound. So make sure that you aren't buying into the world' propaganda. While there are a great many rewards, the sacrifice is very real. The reason so many women don't want to do it is because it is very hard and has very real costs. But the answer to these obstacles is not to run away in fear as the world does, but to meet it with joy, and in faith.

My very kind and wise husband once left a note for me on Easter morning, two weeks after Daphne was born. He wrote, "To my wife, before she even goes near the closet on Easter morning."... In it, he encouraged me to realize that there was no more fitting way to celebrate Easter (or any part of the Christian life) than in a body that has been undone on behalf of another.

So realize that your body is a testimony to the world of God's design. Carry the extra weight joyfully until you can lose it joyfully. Carry the scars joyfully as you carry the fruit of them. Do not resent the damages that your children left on your body. Just like a guitar mellows and sounds better with age and scratches, so your body can more fully praise God having been used for His purposes. So don't resent it, enjoy it!

I have definitely needed to be reminded of this 3.5 months post-baby. Having children takes a toll on your body, your mind and soul.

You are no longer just a woman or a wife. You are now a short-order cook, potty trainer, teacher (whether you home school or not),
etiquette instructor, launderer, cleaning service provider, nose wiper, nurse, chauffeur, kisser-of-boo-boos, discipline-er, etc...

And as our pastor's wife just said last Friday at our Play and Pray, "I am so proud of you all! You have the hardest job in the world." Gosh we need to hear that. Because it is hard and sometimes we can get lost. Lost climbing the mountain of laundry.

Motherhood changes you. And we must embrace that. Otherwise we will come to resent our mothering.

But at the same time, we can't let "The Mom Look" define us and take away our femininity. It's important to remember who we are for our own sanity and it's important for our husbands and children too. (oh gosh, I really need to hear this today too!)



In that same chapter Rachel says this,

Your body is a tool - maintain it. Having sacrificed your body for your children is no excuse for schlepping around in sweatpants for the rest of their childhood (oops!). When you were eighteen, you might have been skinny without trying. In your thirties, after having had a pile of kids, the chances are good that you will need to try.

 



I remember my 25th birthday. I had just given birth to my third child (literally the day of). We celebrated with my family a week or so after. I was so touched when my sister-in-law, Mom and sister decided to give me a 'make-over' as a gift. I tried not to let the thought seep in that they were doing this because they thought I needed it! Instead I enjoyed the pampering.

I will be forever grateful for that sweet act of kindness! I had really let myself go. I hadn't even realized it until I was in the store trying on clothes and shoes... when was the last time I did this! Amy my s-i-l was wonderful at helping me find a new style that I was in desperate need of.

That was five year ago. And I have learned so much about dressing nice and looking pretty for my man. Which doesn't always mean make-up and matching accessories.

But I find myself a little stuck these days. And I need to find myself... again.

I am going to have the Mom Look every now and then. And I'm ok with that, because that's where I am in life right now. I am a busy, homeschooling mom of four.

My body (and appearance) is bearing the fruit of motherhood. And that is a blessing that I do not take for granted. What a small sacrifice it is.

But I'm also a wife.

And a woman.

And it's important not to forget that. That's why just the other day I went and bought some new perfume and some stud (baby-pulling proof) earrings... and resisted buying new comfy 'workout' clothes (quotes b/c I don't wear them to work out in!).

Yes, it's fun to indulge and pamper yourself just a bit. But don't forget the true renewal and reminding you of who you are will only come from God and His Word.

This is so hard for me. But it truly works! God's Word is alive and it speaks to our hearts, not matter where we are stuck in life.

If you have an extra minute, skip on over to my friend's blog where she writes about some practical how-to's on how to make time for this. She should know, she's got 10 kids! And is still homeschooling 8 of them! And she's a real person! You'll love her.

Ok, back to my Saturday catch-up day! I'm getting a late start, but that's ok. I love sharing my heart with you and it helps me better understand what's going on inside me too. Thanks for the therapy!

I Have Worms in my Fridge

And no, I don't mean maggots.

I have worms in my refrigerator because I have boys in my home.

I said I would never have hamsters in my house.

Or snakes...

Or frogs...

Or any other kind of reptile.

But I didn't have boys when I foolishly said all those things.



And now I even have worms in my fridge.

To feed all those reptiles, you know.




But I don't really mind anymore. Because I love my boys.

And I'm starting to love what they love.










But absolutely, positively NO tigers or lions!

You gotta draw the line somewhere.

Dear Deacon

Seven years old, huh?

 

I don't think anyone gave you permission to go and turn seven! Nope, not me.

 

 

 

Thinking back over this last year I realize that you are truly becoming a young man. You are no longer the little boy that used to snuggle so closely on my lap. And although I miss that sweet fuzzy-headed little boy, I love this young man that you are becoming.

 

 

 

 

You are still trying to find your place and you have a long way to go, but I see such promise in you, my son. You have a tender heart, you love deeply and you are determined.

 

 

 

 

Those are such good qualities to have. You can't be a good man without them. You can't be a good leader without first becoming a good servant.

 

 

 

 

One thing I want to challenge you with for this year and really for the rest of your years is what we read in our devotion just the other morning. Do you remember?

 

 

 

From 2 Samuel 10:12 -

 

    "Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight."

or as the KJV says "Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people..."


 

"Be Brave!" Joab told his men. They were going to war and I'm sure some were scared. He had to remind them that God made them men! And they needed to play the part. It's hard being a man. It's hard being a good man.

What does it mean to be brave? Will you have to go to war? Maybe you will some day. And yes, you would have to be brave. But even if you never go to war with guns and grenades, you will still be fighting a war. A war for family and a war for God. And you must fight!

 

 



 

 

There was another passage we read. It came from 2 Peter 3:7-8:

 

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."

 

I know you don't have a wife yet. You better not! But you do have a Mom and you do have a sister! God was kind to give us to you so that you can get some practice time in! One day you might find yourself married, and guess what? You will have to play the man.

 

 

 



It takes bravery to show respect and kindness, to be compassionate and to put others before yourself. But I challenge you, to Play the Man!

I love you, my son and I am so thankful God chose to place you in our family. He could have given you to anyone in the whole world! But he saw fit to give you to us. What a gift you are.

 

 

 

Happy Birthday, Bud. I hope you feel special today. Because you are. Very Special.

 

 



 

Love,

Your Momma