A Confession

I have a confession to make.

I hate small talk.

In fact, I am terrible at it. I think that's why it's so difficult for me to start new friendships. It's hard talking to people I don't know. What should you say?

I like your shirt...? You have nice teeth...?

I mean, seriously, who cares.

I feel awkward. Then they feel awkward. So I end up just smiling and walking away, really wishing I could just get down to business and forget the small talk.

What I love the most is asking the hard questions and listening to the hard answers. Sharing my soul, my hurts and regrets with you and hearing yours. Not because I'm nosey - ok, maybe a little. But it's because, well, I just want to KNOW you. Not hear about how you like the color of my hair. That's nice and all and I appreciate it. But it just really doesn't matter to me. YOU matter to me.

I was thinking about all of these things the other day. How God created us relational. I took a moment and thanked Him. He could have created us uncaring, islands. But He didn't. He created us with a need - the need for people, for relationships, for Him.

Then I thought: How much do I want to know Him? Do I just give Him the small talk? Do I share my soul with Him, my deepest hurts, regrets? Do I ask Him the hard questions, seeking to know Him more? Do I listen to the hard answers? Do I allow Him to fulfill my ultimate relational needs? Am I satisfied by Him?

I love my Savior. I love that He allows us to KNOW Him. Not just facts about Him. He let's us ask the hard questions, dig deep, and He also allows us to find the answers.

...I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may KNOW Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering, being conformed to His death...  Philippian 3:8-10