What's in a Name?

I am now the proud Mama of two little calico kittens. We adopted them on Monday from the Jasper Animal Rescue Mission in Ridgeland. What fun it has been! They are 4 month old sisters and are just the sweetest things!

I haven't had a cat since we had to give Hobbes back to my parents when Olivia was a baby. He wasn't very, uh, careful with my baby and had to go!

We have all (well, except Dustin) been wanting a little someone to hold. I told DQ that it was either another baby or kittens - he said to hurry and get that cats!

So now they are here and adjusting well. But we are having a big problem with naming them. There are so many cute 'pair names' out there. It's hard to decide!!!

I would love to get some feed back from ya'll. Maybe you will pick the winner!

Here are some cute ones that we like:

Peanut and Butter
Cinnamon and Sugar
Ruth and Naomi
Lucy and Ethel
Sissy and Sissa - what my mom and aunt are called
Liza and Lorna - Judy Garland's daughters names
Molly and Polly
Lily and Rosy
Anne and Diana - is there really an explanation needed?
Mona and Lisa
Laverne and Shirley
Garden and Eden
Mary and Poppins

and since I have been typing the kids have suggested

Christmas and Carol
Christmas and Present
Fly and Ing  ... yeah, we are really getting into this name pair thing!

Thanks for the help! Oh! and here are some pics to help you help us!

      

   

Being a Mother

I was talking with a friend the other day about what we would say to a woman about to have her first baby.

We made some jokes at first,

                    "Say good-bye to showers!"
                    "Say good-bye to sleep!"
                    "Say good-bye to quiet!"
                    "Say good-bye to life as you know it!"

Then the conversation turned a little more serious. If you aren't a mother yet, you might be thinking, that's not serious?? Hahahaha... *intake of breath* Hahahahaha.... *intake of breath*  just wait.

As I watched my friend talk it was like we were in a movie. She was being transported back to that very moment. Her eyes gazed off into nothing and she was there.

"It's really none of those things," she was saying. "Those aren't really the big ones." I quickly caught on. Then we were both caught up in the time warp of remembering. As our combined 5 children ran crazy around us we ignored them and continued on our journey.

Then she was saying something about the ache that just never goes away. It's not the sleep deprivation that is the hardest. Or not remembering when the last time was that you showered. And you really forget what quiet is. Something feels very wrong when it's quiet actually and you don't know what to do with yourself.

We went on to talk about the worry that comes with motherhood. I know Christ tells us NOT to worry. But have you ever looked closely at that scripture in Matthew? It says:

"Do not worry about YOUR life, what YOU will eat or drink or about YOUR body, what YOU will wear..." Mt. 6:25

Not worrying about yourself, that's easy! Yourself? Who is that anyway? You don't even remember who that person was. You know that you existed before you had kids, but that person, well, that person just doesn't exist anymore! See, He wasn't talking to mothers. Because He knew worrying for mothers is like breathing.

Ok, yes, I'm being facetious.  I don’t want to be accused of blaspheming the Scriptures. I know that we are to "be anxious for nothing, to cast our anxieties on Him, that an anxious heart weighs a man down..." But for a mother it really does seem impossible NOT to worry about her children. It is something that just happens. It is involuntarily all consuming. In other words, you have no choice, in some form or fashion it will consume you!

                                                               

As we were talking I remembered the first time I realized what had happened to me. Olivia was 4 weeks old. She woke up with a cough and a sniffle. I called the doctor and they told me to bring her in. They were concerned because she was so little. They had me bring her in the next day as well, just to keep close tabs on her. Thankfully it wasn’t serious and she quickly recovered. On the drive home from the last visit I broke down. Not because I was worried she wasn’t going to get better. I knew she was going to be fine. I cried because I was hurting. I had a physical ache, a heaviness that had settled right in the middle of my chest.

I knew that since she had been born I hadn't been the same. I was nervous all the time, so concerned that I was going to do something wrong. My wonderful ability to sleep through anything had automatically vanished.  Now the slightest rustle of the sheet would throw me into an near panic attack. I was pretty even keel before, but now my anxiety level was through the roof! I just thought that I had the ‘new mother syndrome’. And I did, but I didn’t fully understand what had really happened.

Driving home that day I realized that the moment they laid her on my chest after she was born she left something there. She left the mark every child leaves on a mother's heart. Whether that child is biologically born to you or born to you through adoption. I wasn't sure I wanted it.  It hurt too much. I was overwhelmed with the realization that I would have to hold that ache in my heart for the rest of my life. So I cried. Never will I not worry about her. Never will I not have some thought of her in my head. Never will I be completely at ease or care free again the way I used to be.

We decided that that was what we would share with a new mother-to-be. It's not the sleep deprivation we would warn her about or not being able to do her nails whenever she wanted. We'd want her to know that she would no longer be the same person. There would now be another person that she would be consumed by, every part of her. And that she might have an uncomfortable ache where there didn't use to be. Not a temporary ache, but a permanent one that she will carry until the day she dies.

I was reminded of this fact the other day. It was twilight and I parked my car at my parents ice cream shop. I stopped in and said hi and told them that I was on my way to the coffee shop for 'girls night'. I saw a slight twinge cross my mother's face. A little later that night I got a text from her saying, "Don't walk to your car by yourself." There it was, the mother ache. I'm 28, have three children of my own and it's still with her.

Six years and three children later, I have to say that I would never go back! I eventually adjusted to being a mommy... I've even gotten used to the ache. It's still there,  always will be, but I'm ok with that. I wouldn't be who I am today without it. I wouldn't know true love, I wouldn't be complete. It truly is an honor.

Thanks friend, for a wonderful conversation that day. It's amazing that it actually took place where it did, when it did with all of the kids running around us! I think we are just good at blocking them out!! hehehe

Hmmm... maybe that's something else I would tell a new mother-to-be. You will get great at not hearing the most annoying of noises!!

 Olivia Rose Qualls

January 15, 2004

4:43am

6lb. 12oz. 19 & 3/4 inches long

An Angel

A dear friend has gone home to be with the Lord. Lela Steel died in early August. I met Lela in Odessa, Ukraine four years ago. When I came back to the States and began sharing some of my stories from the trip I realized that two people from my church had a connection with her. My associate pastor used to be a member of Lela's son's church and my good friend was best friends with her granddaughter! It really is a small world. It was fun to share stories with them. When she died, Lara my friend told me that Lela's granddaughter was putting together a book to honor Lela and asked me if I had any memories I wanted to share. This is what I remember...

After an exhausting night in Kiev, we were headed to Odessa. This being my first trip to Ukraine (summer of 2006) I had no idea what to expect. And so far it hadn't been the dream I had wanted it to be.

We started the trip already being nervous. My husband's knee was infected and getting bigger and redder by the  minute. But we decided to push forward, I mean, the plane was leaving! We got a late start and almost missed our international flight. When we got to the terminal I along with my brother found a wheel chair, threw Dustin in it and ran, pushing him through mobs of people to get to our gate. At that point I felt like I was training for a triathalon!

When we arrived in Kiev we had been en route for over 24hrs. No sleep, not much food, all of our luggage lost and feeling very fragile. The plan was to spend the night there and rest up before our flight the next morning to Odessa. But Dustin's knee had other plans. We had to find a doctor. Thankfully my husband's sister spoke Russian. Somehow we found a clinic - those details are a little fuzzy. Everything in me was screaming SLEEP! But how could I go to sleep when my husband and his sister were roaming around Kiev in the middle of the night? So I went. After meeting with the doctor, our next mission was to find a 24 hr pharmacy. We jumped in a taxi and off we went. We ended up switching taxi's and in the process, my husband's sister's purse was stolen! Ugh!! We got back to the hotel, slept for two hours then headed to Odessa.

I was so tired. Dustin was still limping, Michelle was purse-less and we were all luggage-less! Surely things had to get better!

They did. As soon as we stepped foot in Odessa, we were greeted by an angel. Ms. Lela Steel was the sweetest woman I think I have ever been in the presence of. She grabbed each of us by the face and kissed us right on the mouth! I kept saying over in my head, 'We are in Ukraine, we are in Ukraine'. And then I remembered, She's American!! And it became even that more of a blessing. She was no longer Ms. Lela Steel, she was Babooshka Lela.

She took us to the market so we could have lunch and to get underwear! Then we went shopping for the orphans - her children. When we entered the orphanage, I will never forget this, it was like someone had blown a trumpet to announce her coming. No one did of course, the children just knew. Immediately this 5 foot flat woman was surrounded by children. I mean, surrounded, you couldn't see her. You could only hear, "Slavic! Hello! I love you, Babooshka Lela loves you! Natasha, priviet! Babooshka Lela loves you. Serge, how are you! I love you...." What a privilege it was for the five of us to watch this remarkable woman love these children. And then we realized we weren't the only ones she loved to kiss. She was planting kisses on every child who came close to her. I am embarrassed to say that I prayed God would protect her from disease.

Have you ever heard the expression, 'Jesus with skin on'? It is a phrase I have used trying to express the fact that sometimes we as humans need to see/feel Jesus in a tangible way. I have never seen it manifested in the way I saw with Ms. Lela.

We left the orphanage after a few hrs. Victor, Lela's driver took us to her house. She let us use her shower and crash in her bed for a while before we had to catch a night train to Vinnitsa. Her hospitality was just what we needed. She told us about her husband and that after he died God called her to Odessa to love the orphans. She was in her 80's. I was so encouraged just by listening to her.

She then made us some tuna fish sandwiches (best ever!) to take with us. We gave hugs and kisses and then left. We had been in her presence all of 12 hrs. It is a 12 hrs. that I will always remember and look back on with sweet fondness. She was a remarkable woman with a remarkable love for people - no matter who they were. She ministered to those children in Orphanage #4 in ways that we will never fully understand. The way she loved them, touching them, hugging them, kissing them, calling them by name, was exactly how Christ ministered to those around Him while He was living on this earth. He loved the unlovable. He touched the untouchable. He knew their name, their deepest secrets, their pain. And He loved them. And because He loved them, they were changed. One of the members on our team had been to orphanages in Ukraine before. She said that she had never seen children so well behaved. She was convinced it was because of Lela.

Lela, you are deeply missed on this earth now that you are gone. I am so thankful I had the brief opportunity to know you and see first hand how God was using you in the lives of those children. You are now in the arms of Jesus, would you give Him a hug and kiss for me?

Life is Good...

I thought it would be fun to upload some pictures that represent what our life has looked like lately. The past two months have been really, really good for us. It is so good to say that. Because it's not always good... God is always good, but life can be really hard at times. We have all experienced those times. So we know that finding encouragement in the mundane-ness of life can be, well, encouraging!

"In the Morning, Lord, you hear my voice;

In the Morning I lay my requests

before you and wait in expectation."

Psalm 5:3

Finding time in the morning to study the word and drink green tea has brought me great encouragement! It has been hard though. Not only because I am NOT a morning person, but when I find the house quiet it is so hard not to be distracted by all the things that I could be DOING!! But I never regret sitting down and reading God's very words written to me. It doesn't happen every morning, but I love it when it does.

Last month our church participated in the Baby Bottle Boomerang , a small fundraiser for the BWC. We brought the bottle home, set it on the counter and forgot about it. Well, at least I forgot about it. I was cleaning off the counter the other day and went to pick up the bottle to wipe underneath it. I stopped mid-wipe. There was a one dollar bill tucked inside. I hadn't put it in there and I knew Dustin hadn't. But it did have a certain child's signature fold. I almost started crying on the spot. I was so encouraged to see the heart of my child. I have to admit, I haven't turned in the bottle yet even though it was due a few weeks ago. It 'makes tears come down' (as Levi would say) every time I see it.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Mt. 6:21

One of the things that attracted me to Dustin was the fact that he was a hard worker. My Daddy is a hard worker and there is just something about callouses on a man's hands. I was so encouraged to see Deacon helping his daddy put together our 'new' playground set. It was hard work, but he did it without complaint.

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." 1Thes 4:11-12

The Q fam is known around town for their great oyster roasts and cookouts around the fire. It's something DQ loves and we all enjoy doing together. We started the Fall season off right by having a fire in the back yard, roasting hot dogs and making smores... Mmmm! It's encouraging to be with family.

Ok, maybe some of you wont get it. Don't feel bad, we didn't at first either. But after having Jac-Jac for almost a year, we are learning his quirks and his funny ways. We are also learning that exercise is important for everyone - even if you are a reptile. Come over at any point of the day and you might catch him mid-workout! I love it when I'm busy doing something and I hear a quick inhale of breath followed by a 'quiet' "Mom!! He's doing it!!!"

My Mamaw just celebrated her 78th birthday. And as a surprise my Uncle Robert, Daddy's brother, came down for her party! Daddy (R) started out pushing her, but then had Uncle Robert come from around the corner behind her so she wouldn't see him... 

He pushed her half way down the hall before she realized what was going on. At this point she still didn't know her son Robert was pushing her. She was just laughing because we were all laughing!!

The moment she realized it was Robert was just so sweet!! Happy Birthday, Mamaw! We Love you!

It's encouraging when you can be a part of bringing joy to someone else's life.

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  Psalm 126:2-3

Meet Josefina, the newest member of our family. I have been encouraged by watching Livie take care of and love her new 'child'. I remember being a young girl and my pretend world being so real. I had an American Doll that I dressed every day and put to bed every night, tucking her in tight so she wouldn't be cold. She made sure that the two of them matched Sunday morning. And there was no chance of leaving her in the car to "SUFFOCATE!!"

When I think back to what was going on in my life when God saw fit to bless us with Levi I am sobered. I have been writing about that time and thinking a lot about the blessing this little guy truly is to our family. I look forward to sharing with him one day the story of how God used him in our lives even before he was born.  This kid brings me so much joy. I am encouraged every day just by being with him. He is so funny and I love writing down the funny things he says. I put together a book at the end of the year to give to family of all the funny things the kids say and do. Here's a Sneak Peek:

"Daddy, you smell like quarters"

"You my buddy, Deke"

Drinking some of DQ's drink: It tastes like throw-up!

DQ: So you don't like it?

Levi: Yeah, I like it.

Mommy: What was one thing you like best about the story?

Levi: When they (Adam and Eve) were kicked out of the garden...

Levi took a big magnet off of the fridge. He noticed a smudge of something on it. So he licked it and then said, "MMmmm! Peanut butter!!"

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:15-16

A Very Special Place

If you've read 'My Story' then you are aware that I am the Secretary of the Board of Directors of the Beaufort Women's Center. Big name, I know, but please don't be impressed. I am really just a student, an honored guest, who feels so unworthy to be apart of this ministry.

But I am so thankful I am! Right now I am in Columbia, SC at a mini convention for the pregnancy centers of South Carolina. I'm not sure how many are represented here, mabye 10-20. These women are amazing! When I sit amongst them I have to fight off the temptation to #1 idolize them and #2 be intimidated by them. Some of these women have been through the ugly of starting up and keeping going a struggling pregnancy center. Who have sacrificed so much of their time, money, family, emotional stability, sanity! And have loved every minute of it. God is using them in ways we will never know on this earth.

And then I am reminded of the BWC and all of the amazing, self-sacrificing women (and men) that have kept that place going for over 25 years.

I can remember being a young girl and going along with my mother to talk to youth groups about abstinence. I would pass out the little papers or whatever. I'm sure my mom probably was looked at funny for bringing an 8 yr. old (or there abouts) to a group of high schoolers to talk about SEX and why they should abstain from having it!! But I am so thankful that she did. Even then God was calling me to this ministry, planting the seeds that would one day grow into a very special part of who I have become.

I recently heard a testimony of one of the girls that attended one of those meetings my mom taught. She is a woman now, it's been 20 years since that night my mom spoke to her and her friends. (It's really because of a "chance" encounter that we even know this story) During that meeting she said that she really didn't want to hear what my mom was saying. She wanted to do her own thing - and she did. In fact after that she left and pursued a life of promiscuity. But... She did hear those words my mom spoke, words God was whispering in her ear. And she continued to hear those words over and over until finally, God restored her to purity. She got married, had children and her and her husband are strong believers today.

The thing she said that God used to bring her back to the Lord, were the words of my mother. A self-sacrificing, sometimes tired and lonely volunteer who had a passion for Christ and a passion for women. God whispered those words to her over time, never forcing them on her or making her listen to Him. He slowly and patiently prodded her heart with His gentleness.

This is what I see every time I am in the BWC. Women who are following the example of Christ. Not yelling or screaming, but gently prodding with His words. Encouraging them with the fact that they have value and worth. That God loves them and He loves their unborn baby. That just like she was created in the image of God, her baby is too and that he deserves life.

They aren't looking for rewards or acclamation. But I can tell you, it can get discouraging. Just like anything else, when Satan knows that God has His hand on you, he wants to try and destroy whatever it is you are doing. They are at risk of that every day.

There are over 300 churches in Beaufort County. Only 12 financially support the center. There are hundreds of thousands of individuals living in Beaufort County. Only 120 support them on a monthly basis.

Would you like to be blessed? Stop by the center any time Monday-Thursday 10:00am - 4:30pm and drop off a check, a thing of toilet paper or paper towels, some flowers, a note, a hug, a thank you, a box of pens, stamps, computer paper... anything you have and could do without. Because Beaufort County shouldn't have to do without them.

Not everyone gets to know the ending to someone's story. But man, isn't it neat when we do??

Praise God! And thanks Mom for taking me along with you when I was just a little girl and encouraging me to not only take a stance for purity in my own life, but to fight for the purity of others and for the lives of their babies, and to reach out to a hurting woman suffering from the effects of abortion. You truly are my hero.

"And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.."                                      1Kings 19:12

Ukraine Update

We really need to come up with a better title/name for our trip... any suggestions??

I just received a call from Michelle, my sister-in-law and partner in crime. We have a house!!

I have been concerned that we wouldn't be able to reserve or even find a house that would be able to house the two of us, plus a translator, plus the 6 other women, who we pray will come! But again, God has provided.

I think it was last fall I was praying. I had already been praying for a year, asking God to lead and direct me and call whoever else He was going to have join me. But up until that point, I think it was still 'my baby'. I was trying to make things happen. I had a tentative plan to go to Ukraine in October, that eventually fell through. I just knew it wasn't His time, nothing had come together or fallen into place. God really used that to show me that unless He was leading and directing, then it was all vanity. So my prayers changed.

I began to pray in this way, "God, if this is from you then you need to do it. I am done trying. Not because I am giving up, but I just don't want to get in the way anymore. Show me this is from you and just make it happen!"

What happened after that was amazing. Not that anything really happened. No, nothing happened for another 7 or 8 months. But what did happen took place in my heart. It was no longer 'my baby' so to speak. I was no longer stressing about it, I wasn't even really trying! I was just praying that if this was what God wanted then He would do it!

Over the past few months I have been watching Him work things out. First by calling Michelle and Yura and, not just opening doors, but ripping them off! But I still wasn't convinced. I was being overly cautious. I just knew that even if all of the 'little' things came together, then the one 'big' thing wouldn't. The house. I really wasn't being overly cautious, I was just being disbelieving.

But as of this morning, it is reserved for January 2-5th to house the 9 of us. It is a house that belongs to Operation Mobilization, a mission agency. They built this house for ministry purposes. They even have a full time staff that will be there to cook and clean for us. Every detail, God is providing for.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain  you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. "               Psalm 127:1 & 2

An Impossible Job

There once was a girl who had a big job.
"Keep up!", she was told. "Do it just right!"
She was tired all the time and wanted to give up.
She worked hard all day and stayed up nights.

She tried and tried, but couldn't get it right.
What's wrong with me? She quietly sighed.
Everyone else does a perfect job, why can't I?
A tear slipped down her cheek as she cried.

Then one day she heard another voice, Stop trying, Beloved.
What did He say? What could this mean? Could this be true?
Could she really stop trying and still be good?
It means I came to give you rest and I love you.

None of it made sense. She was mad, she was angry.
What about all of this time? all of my trying? my reward?
She was afraid to give it up, what would people say?
For whom are you striving? Them or your Lord?

She decided to try, to try to stop trying.
What if I can't? Will You still love me? What if I fail?
You will fail, my Beloved. And that's why I came.
But my love will sustain you, my GRACE will prevail.

Now grace was a word that she had heard before.
But never had she heard it spoken with such promise, such love.
Slowly, oh so slowly she felt the burden begin to lift.
This is what had been missing wonderful JOY from above.

How thankful she was to finally quit her job.
It didn't matter, the questions, the looks, the stares.
She was His Beloved and He was hers.
What a relief it was, to be under His care.

Now a question for you:

Do you feel tired and burdened?
Are you trying your hardest?
Do you no longer have joy?
Could you use a rest?

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for soul."   Matthew 11:28-29

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us."   Ephesians 1:7-8a

"Are you so foolish? having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" "Therefore, you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God."   Galatians 3:3; 4:7

These are God's words to you...