Today I feel war weary.
I have been waking up tired. Timid and slow to face the day.
There have been other times when I have felt war weary. Tired of fighting against... there is always something to fight against.
I guess these times of weariness are inevitable. For this is a weary world.
"Do not grow weary in doing good..."
I wonder how this is possible. Truly. On this side of things I mean. When there is always some frustration you keep bumping into. And you wish you could just ease by, but you can't. So you keep pushing and pushing.
My muscles are sore and my heart aches.
So today I've decided not to fight (as much). I'm not saying this is a good thing. In a way I'm just giving up. As a mother, you have to fight. Fight for discipline. Fight for naps. Fight for order and control.
But I'm tired of being the enforcer. The referee. The all around bad-guy.
Can I say these things?
Because we aren't really allowed to give up. To give in.
But I am today.
Don't worry. It's not for good. Just a little break from the war. What's that called R &R? Yeah, that's just what I need...
I am not a writer, but I am a thinker. And sometimes my thoughts get lost in the chaos that is constantly surrounding me. Maybe this will help...
6 comments:
I have been reminded lately that I should have time to rest, be quiet, wait patiently, listen......, I'm not sure what that means,really, but I don't like it when I'm forced to, so maybe I should listen more often.....I don't know, just food for thought, no expert for sure; just understand your not so random thoughts.
Reminds me of that line in the Christmas song....'the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks the new and gloriously morn, fall on your knees'.......well you know the rest. We can always rejoice, even when we are weary.
Mika'l, do you read the Femina blog? I am always encouraged by it, especially on 'weary' days. :) www.feminagirls.com. My fave posts are the ones written by Rachel. Anyway, it always helps to know you're not alone in the tiredness of motherhood sometimes. :)
Weary with you, sister. love you and praying for you :l
Thanks Zoe - I do read it occassionally. Unfortunately I just don't have a lot of time. But thanks for the reminder. I'll check it out! Just caught up on your blog yesterday! You are looking so cute =)
There are some things worth fighting for and fighting over. I'm afraid we add a lot more fights to our days than we are supposed to have. Takes prayer to find out how to lead with a quiet spirit. And it is humblingly-hard of course to stop striving and growing weary, and to just seek. There is freedom in "I can't". Hallelujah. :)
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